Contemplating the Difference between the Observer and Conscious Me

It is important to understand all of the components of complete consciousness so that there is no confusion about how to work towards integration of the different aspects of me and the mind.

The foundation of complete consciousness is pure consciousness, and it should be properly isolated with eyes open in order to separate pure me from the relative consciousness. The relative consciousness basically represents all the layers of me which are linked to the mind, external perception, and to personality. Pure me is the unconditional dimension of me – the one that can embody the light of I am. Originally, it is simply not present; it is simply non-existent. Without having access to I am, pure me cannot be activated because it comes into existence through the surrender of me to I am, as the subject of me’s unity with I am. If it is properly activated and embodied with eyes open, then when you close your eyes and sit in meditation, it naturally falls into the right place because the space is open. If an ordinary person closes their eyes, based on their habitual sense of identity, energy moves to the front of the head – meaning there’s no depth. With open eyes, pure me is experienced towards the back and behind the head. With closed eyes, because the horizontal element is oriented more vertically, the energetic location of pure me is in the space between the middle and the back of the head. When your pure consciousness is resting, it settles down towards the bottom of the head, in its lower portion, towards the neck. This is where the experience of restfulness is energetically located.

In order to integrate the mind with pure consciousness, the bridge of conscious me has to be solidified and awakened. It seems that, initially, human beings not only do not have access to consciousness, but their conscious me is also quite unevolved. This is kind of surprising considering that human beings have been evolving in the dimension of me for quite a while. Not only is conscious me weak and not conscious of itself, but even the observer is weak. The observer is not really conscious.

It’s no wonder that in many schools of meditation they actually work with the observer through developing mindfulness, observation, or detachment from the mind. The problem is that the observer cannot really be developed properly without connection to conscious me. In fact, excessive work with the observer in disconnection from conscious me can create too much crystallization of the mental self. When you crystallize it too much, afterwards you cannot get rid of it; it will resist surrender. Even though for certain humans who have a weak observer it may be beneficial to work on the level of the observer, this work can go much deeper if instead we begin with conscious me. Conscious me is the host of the observer, the source of the observer. Based on the awakening of the conscious me, the observer should naturally become transformed and our connection to the mind can become truly conscious. However, it is difficult to awaken the conscious me without first having our identity established in pure me. Conscious me does not need pure me to become aware of itself. But to really awaken its pure subjectivity, conscious me needs to be linked to the energy of surrender as well. Connection to pure me brings this element of surrender – absence. For conscious me, initially, pure me is the doorway to absence.

An additional difficulty with the awakening of the conscious me is the fact that we have been misusing the front portion of the head. We have lived there for a long time in a wrong way, overly identified with the mind, and have developed too many mental energies. Mental energies are the residues of thoughts. When a thought is not connected to pure consciousness, it leaves an energetic residue. When there is a flow of surrender, each thought leaves no traces – meaning it disappears, leaving empty space behind. But when the mind is not connected to consciousness, because of its fragmented nature, it leaves these energetic traces as residues which you may experience as fluctuations in the front, as some kind of energetic discomfort, or as a subconscious state. These mental residues eventually translate into a subconscious state, which is like a subconscious sphere surrounding your consciousness, encapsulating you in an energetic prison. Therefore, in working with the conscious me, at the same time one should aim at the dissolution of these subconscious energies through correctly embodying conscious me. When conscious me is embodied and there’s an element of vertical restfulness, it eventually absorbs all these mental energies and dissolves them.

Knowing how to abide in the front of the head in meditation is an art. Initially our relationship with that me is very poor, and we have the memory of using this place for the observer and the mind. So when we go there, we remember ourselves in a certain way, the way we are used to experiencing our me based on our past. And that has to transform.

The pillars of complete consciousness are the pure me and the conscious me. They both need to be present and embodied; they are like two centers of consciousness that represent different functions. If there is only conscious me, there is not enough surrender; there’s too much presence. If there’s only pure me, there’s no bridge between consciousness and the mind; there’s no continuity of recognition and surrender.

For some of you, it is difficult to embody these two centers simultaneously, and you move back and forth between pure me, or pure consciousness, and conscious me. At the beginning, it is fine because pure consciousness first has to be fully established. But you should try more and more to embody these two centers simultaneously, with the weight on pure me, which is your connection to I am. Based on that connection to pure me and I am, conscious me can gradually reach the natural state, which will in turn transform the observer and the mind.