Embodying Our Light

In our teaching, we often use the term ‘to embody’ the awakened states. Many find this concept difficult to grasp, but its meaning is very straightforward. To embody means, literally, to enter the body of something. Even on a physical level, to incarnate is to embody our earthly form, to fill it with our existence. On the spiritual level, to embody is to take possession of the awakened state. If the state is not embodied, it remains disconnected from who we are. This is what we call negative impersonality. The state is too impersonal; it is objectified from the standpoint of our me which is struggling to relate to it properly. It moves back and forth between attempting to identify with that impersonal energy and trying to eliminate its own presence as the subject experiencing the state. In non-dual traditions, the idea exists that ‘no one’ is experiencing the awakened state. But this is fundamentally wrong. The negative absence of oneself or the futile attempt to identify with the impersonal are the two most common indications of an identity crisis within the context of our expansion into the dimension beyond me.

Not knowing who one is while having awakened to the impersonal aspect of our existence will prevent us from being able to relate to it properly. We must ask ourselves: What is the function of awakening to I am? What is this I am for? What is our relationship with it? Who is in this relationship? If one awakens I am and doesn’t make the next step, I am is just being wasted. The very reason why existence opens us to the dimension of I am is for our me to begin to surrender itself. This is the beginning of our true transformation. Not only is me being transformed, but through its surrender, the space of I am can reach its own completion, maturing into the natural state. I am needs me in order to complete itself; it is the surrender of me that gives it the final depth and stability.

So me needs to surrender in order to be transformed and to facilitate the maturation of I am into its final depth. But there is also a higher reason: through the meeting and unification of me and I am, our new identity comes into existence – our soul is born. In order to become our soul, we must embody I am. I am is the body of the soul and me is her consciousness, her sense of self. There is no sense of self in I am unless we embody it: it is simply too impersonal, a state of no one. It may feel close, but it is at the same time far away.

Unless it is embodied, I am is more objective than subjective. I am is energy born out of universal subjectivity. It cannot be properly realized unless it is fully met through me. This is the meeting of subjectivities, personal and impersonal. Awakening of the inner state is like arriving at a mountain lake. Me is enjoying it, delighting in its stillness and beauty, feeling its invisible inner depth, but as long as it sits on the shore it is just a visitor, an outsider to the lake. The moment it enters the lake, everything changes. Me can experience things that it never could from the shore: it can finally be embraced by the water, feeling its texture and freshness with every inch of its skin. To embody the inner state is to cross over the duality between me and I am. One is no longer merely experiencing the state – one owns it.

Before we can embody our light, we must have access to it. The issue of embodying does not exist unless one is awakened. Even though we speak about the awakening of me and about personal self-realization, me does not really need to embody itself. Rather, it needs to meet its subjective existence, to realize itself in its pure form. The concept of embodying does not refer to the awakening of me: it refers to the relationship between me and that which is not me. There is no me in I am; there is nobody there. Me cannot embody itself and I am cannot embody I am, nor can it embody me. Only me can embody I am.

Embodying I am is the function of the surrender of me. Me has to let go of itself, not just in a general way, but with a sense of direction – into I am. However, one should be aware that even if me does merge with I am, this does not necessarily indicate that I am has been embodied. Me can merge energetically with I am, be in a passive samadhi in I am, without embodying it. Certainly, in the absence of energetic unification with the inner state I am cannot be embodied, but energetic fusion is not enough. First, there has to be a meeting between me and I am, a meeting on the level of self. Then me has to enter the very core of I am and claim it as the vehicle of its new identity. Me has to recognize I am as its very body, the body of its higher existence. This is when our soul awakens. Before that, there is no soul.

Only pure me can embody I am; the other dimensions of me cannot do it. In fact, pure me is awakened for this purpose only and, moreover, cannot exist other than in the context of its surrender to I am. Without having I am, one cannot have pure me; it is impossible. Pure me is the true subject, the higher subject, to the experience of I am. However, having I am does not mean that pure me is automatically awakened because it only awakens through the intention of conscious me to surrender. If conscious me is not surrendering, it remains in a distant relationship with I am. Indeed, there are even cases where I am is awakened but conscious me is not, let alone pure me. In this condition, it is the observer who assumes the role of experiencing I am. Of course, this is an exceedingly low-level relationship between me and I am.

Pure me is by definition in relationship with I am, but it is also in relationship with itself: for pure me to awaken, it has to meet itself. However, the nature of pure me is quite mysterious because it is both our me and that which transcends the consciousness of me. So because of its equivocal qualities – and unlike awakening to conscious me – in order to create the proper relationship with pure me we need not only to awaken to it but to embody it as well. Pure me is the only dimension of me that can be embodied because it carries the energy of I am in itself.

Who embodies pure me? It is a subtle matter and needs to be contemplated in deep meditation. The one who embodies pure me is conscious me. What complicates our ability to grasp this is that the core of conscious me does not change its energetic location at the front of the head while embodying pure me, which awakens towards the back of the headspace. When pure me embodies I am, it fully merges with it. But when conscious me embodies pure me, it remains intact while transferring some of its identity into pure me. So here we have to understand two things. Firstly, pure me is born as an extension of conscious me and as a result of its surrender into I am. Secondly, pure me is embodied through the second level of surrender of conscious me, this time into pure me. Here, conscious me actually identifies with pure me without relinquishing its position as conscious me. Pure me can be seen as the deepest dimension of conscious me; it links conscious me with I am, allowing our soul to awaken.

One needs to develop a great deal of sensitivity and spiritual refinement to grasp what pure me is. There are three possible reasons why it seems to be so elusive. Firstly, the relationship of surrender of pure me into I am is very poor. Secondly, pure me is not being embodied in itself. Thirdly, due to our inability to identify pure me as the deepest dimension of who we are, it remains very weak.

The problem is that pure me is constantly surrendering to I am, and while it is this surrender that brings it into existence, it is at the same time dissolving it, making it disappear. Here, the important question to ask is how to develop the quality of strength on the level of pure me in the context of its surrender. The answer is twofold. In order to acquire strength and true solidity of self, pure me must be embodied and centralized in its own dimension as the one who surrenders. In addition, the true strength of pure me is actualized when it is already merged with I am; it manifests through embodying I am. The lower strength of identity of pure me is activated through being embodied by conscious me, and the higher strength through embodying I am. Both are fully interconnected. When pure me reclaims its identity within the body of I am as the very consciousness of our higher being, we reach true empowerment on the level of the soul.

Because our soul awakens through the three centers of I am, we must embody I am on the level of consciousness, being and heart. These are the three doorways to our universal existence, and the three axes of our higher identity. If they serve only as doorways, we can be linked through them to the beyond but we cannot realize our true self. Merging of me with each of these dimensions of I am has a slightly different nature because their qualities are quite distinct. Perhaps the most difficult to grasp is the meaning of embodying being. This is because being is not the natural place for me to experience itself. Me experiences itself in the head, mostly in relation to the mind, and in the heart through its feelings and emotions. When pure me is awakened, it can with relative ease enter these two centers and embody them.

Embodying being is more difficult, especially considering that being is realized through vertical surrender into the source. There is hardly any horizontality in being and we need to bear in mind that the phenomenon of embodying I am is initially purely horizontal in nature. If being is not embodied, it cannot be realized as the I am of the soul; it serves only as the doorway to absence. To embody being (the absolute state) is to become the true subject to the realization of the source. Pure me is the one who feels the bliss of the infinite rest in the beyond, the bliss of absence. By embodying being we add a new depth and strength to the realization, penetrating the realm of absence even more deeply with our presence. For those who are unfamiliar with this subject, the energetic location of the pure me of being is in the lower belly, but as it expands, and as a result of its integration, it encompasses the whole belly and grows roots beyond the body (beneath the body) into the unmanifested.

The concept of embodying the inner states of awakening is of utmost importance for it points directly to creating the correct relationship with our evolution into the light of creation. Without embodying our light, we can never reach self-realization; we are bound to remain separate from the inner realm and our own soul. The foolish concept that our me is unreal or even an obstruction to self-realization has crippled evolution into our complete self for much too long. It is time to wake up, not only to our true self, but from the entirely inadequate perception of the spiritual path. ‘Know yourself’ was written on a temple in ancient Greece. It is time that we bring this dictum to a new and much higher level.

Blessings

Anadi

For a definition of the terminology used, please visit the Glossary page.