Within consciousness, pure me and conscious me need to coexist, and they are emphasized differently in different stages of our practice. The difficulty with grasping pure me is that it may be felt as not-me, as something other than me, because we are naturally more drawn to identify with our previous sense of me. The previous sense of me can be experienced either on the level of the observer or, when it is more developed, on the level of the conscious me. Even if conscious me is not awakened, every person of a sane mind has at least some sense of it because it is interconnected with the observer.
Coming back to pure me: How to embody pure me? How to identify with this deeper dimension of me which initially seems quite unfamiliar, new, and different? Pure me is being activated on several levels. The first level is energetic; it is an energetic state linked directly to I am. If that energetic state is not established, pure attention cannot embody pure me, and it cannot merge with I am without going through pure me. So that energetic state has to be activated, and it is activated through a combination of self-remembrance from pure attention and the energetic surrender of pure attention into I am.
A deeper level of awakening or activation of pure me is on the level of consciousness: shifting our identity into that new state, becoming it, meeting it as our original self, recognizing that this is who we are in our pure nature. This meeting with pure me and the recognition of it as our pure self is not a result of understanding created by the mind – it is much deeper. It is a profoundly intimate realization. That meeting, that deeper awakening, is done through pure intelligence and pure attention, which are the inward emanation of conscious me into I am.
To grow into pure me is to first of all establish the correct energetic state within which pure me can be maintained. Then one cultivates the continuous surrender from pure attention and realizes its essence of pure knowing. That pure knowing is a reflection of universal intimacy and love in the essence of our individual existence. One of the reasons why itis difficult to grasp pure me and to meet it as our inner self is the fact that we are entering pure me through surrender. Pure me is not a state of presence – it is a meeting of presence with absence – because through embodying pure me, we are simultaneously disappearing in it. It is because of this disappearingthat we cannot define our sense of self. We don’t know who we are and who we are becoming, and yet we are becoming something new. This ‘something’ is rooted in absence and knows itself in a pure way as the consciousness of the soul.
Those who speak about meditation usually assume that it is just about discipline, practice, reaching certain attainments, or arriving at states of absorption. But without love and intimacy, and without the ability to meet our inner self, meditation is empty and dry – there is no soul and there is no god.
Even though awakening to pure me is sudden in its essence, there is a long and gradual process of growing into that new consciousness, a long process of maturation into our higher self. In this process, all the layers of me and our past identity need to be realigned. While you abide in pure me, you can observe that there is an inherent and continuous recognition. That recognition is pure and yet it does contain an element of subtle duality, a certain internal dynamic within pure me. This dynamic, this most subtle duality, is a function of pure attention which cannot be separated from pure intelligence. The function of pure attention is not only to awaken and embody pure me; it is to bridge conscious me with I am.Pure attention is the link. Without that link, all the layers of our identity that are connected to human consciousness would forever remain separated from the soul.
Consciousness is not something static. It is not a state that does not move or change. There is a static dimension to consciousness; there is the motionlessness of its basic nature, in particular when it is rooted in the source. But within consciousness, there is life. It is alive, like a being. It lives and has a purpose. It is in relationship with itself, in relationship with the source, and in relationship with the world. It is to this being that we speak, and it is this being which listens, which is learning, growing into itself, making mistakes and correcting them.