Through further contemplation of our recent discoveries regarding the observer, some deep revelations took place about the actual location of essence-me. What we have said so far is that, for conscious me to be awakened, we have to pass through two steps: firstly, the observer becomes conscious of its own subjectivity as the self-conscious observer, which is as if the outer layer of essence-me. Then, through surrendering towards the core of essence-me we activate pure attention and begin to feel ourselves intimately. In this way, the observer acquires the quality of pure subjectivity and transforms into conscious me.
However, even while the observer transforms into conscious me, it is not then dissolved itself – it continues to exist as its own center alongside conscious me. To explain this, we created the concept of the ‘secondary center of conscious me,’ where conscious me is the primary center of essence-me and the observer is its secondary center, our link to external attention and the center of our intelligence.
This model is both relevant and practically applicable; you can all experience the meaning of these terms in your consciousness. However, it is not accurate. What is inaccurate is to call conscious me the ‘primary’ center and the observer the ‘secondary’ center of essence-me. In truth, exactly the reverse is true. It is the observer that is the primary center of essence-me. Conscious me is in fact the extension of the observer into the soul. It is the observer that is the true and only center of the essence-me; this is the center of our intelligence and the source of attention. When one embodies conscious me, it indeed feels like the observer arises from conscious me as its secondary center. But this does not mean that the observer is an actual secondary center, or that the core of essence-me is to be found in conscious me.
While this revelation may not appear very revolutionary to someone who has not dived deeply into the intricacies of consciousness, a more advanced student should be able to appreciate its far-reaching implications. This slight and yet profound shift in our perception of essence-me not only allows us to understand more deeply who we are, but also has enormous practical implications.
In order to accommodate these new discoveries, we have no choice but to change the terminology we have developed to describe essential me. It can be confusing and challenging to adjust to new terms because we have become used to them, but it cannot be avoided. The sprit of the path has to be always renewed so that our creative intelligence and imagination can be stimulated in our never-ending quest for complete understanding and realization.
Because the observer is the primary center of essence-me, it is now correct to call the awakened observer ‘conscious me’. So when we activate conscious thinking, and we feel who is thinking, this is the self-conscious observer. Then, when we relax into that subjectivity, isolating it from external attention and acquiring the quality of being, this is the realization of conscious me.
Pure Conscious Me
Now, what happens to what we previously called ‘conscious me’? What is this deeper subjectivity realized through the expansion of essence-me, through pure attention, behind and below its primal sense of identity? This me is in fact an extension of essence-me into the soul; it is the pure me of conscious me, which we will call ‘pure conscious me’. Pure conscious me is experienced about an inch and a half above the eyebrows, slightly behind the observer and slightly lower, gravitating towards the lower portion of the frontal lobe as it surrenders vertically.
Then we have the identity below pure conscious me, its own extension into the absolute I am. This identity, which we previously called pure conscious me, we will now call ‘fundamental me.’ Fundamental me is experienced on the level of the eyebrows and down towards the upper cheekbones, an identity of vertical surrender and restfulness below pure conscious me.
As you can see, we have shifted all of the terms one step up: the term fundamental me has replaced the term pure conscious me; the term pure conscious me has replaced the term conscious me; and the term conscious me has replaced the secondary center of conscious me, the identity of the observer.
Then we must also redefine the terms we have for the samadhi of each of these aspects of me:
The samadhi of conscious me is called ‘primordial me’. So this is the same term as before, but it now refers to the samadhi of a different center of me (namely, what we used to call the secondary center of conscious me).
The samadhi of pure conscious me is called ‘absolute me’. This is a new term that we have introduced into our depiction of essential me. It should not be confused with ‘absolute me of consciousness’ (which refers to the embodiment of absolute I am through pure me of consciousness). Absolute me naturally embodies I am upon reaching the state of absence.
Absolute Pure Me
The samadhi of fundamental me in the absolute I am is called the ‘fundamental state’. However, when it includes the embodiment of the absolute I am, fundamental me transforms into ‘absolute pure me’.
Awakening of Essential Me: a New Perspective
We will contemplate these discoveries further in the coming retreats, but for now we can gently look at the awakening process of essential me in a new way:
1. The self-conscious observer becomes conscious of its inherent sense of me. This inherent sense of me is essence-me. In relaxing into this subjectivity and activating the intention to reach deeper intimacy with it, the self-conscious observer activates pure attention. The unity of that pure attention and essence-me gives rise to conscious me.
2. Because the newly awakened identity of conscious me carries too much presence and remains unstable, it needs to activate a deeper dimension of itself – pure conscious me. Pure conscious me awakens when conscious me relaxes and then expands beneath and behind itself through pure attention. In this way a new dimension of me is established: pure me of conscious me. Because it is directly linked to conscious me, pure conscious me naturally has more presence and solidity than other dimensions of pure me.
Pure conscious me awakens through a combination of the expansion and surrender of pure attention from conscious me. So the question is, how can a dimension of pure me come into existence without the presence of I am?
The answer is two-fold: firstly, it does have a gentle connection to I am by virtue of its vertical orientation and gentle restfulness. Secondly, pure conscious me is unique in that it is a direct emanation of pure attention from conscious me. As such, it is an emanation-identity of the immanent I am, from essence-me into transcendent I am. Pure conscious me is the closest to the actual identity of pure attention, where pure attention meets itself as me. In other words, unlike other dimensions of pure me, pure conscious me awakens more in the context of immanent I am than transcendent I am, even though it needs to merge with transcendent I am to become complete.
3. Even though it is linked to restfulness, pure conscious me alone cannot enter the essential channel of surrender and thus, it cannot create the proper bridge for conscious me to surrender either. This is why a new dimension of pure me, below pure conscious me, needs to be activated – fundamental me. What is unique about fundamental me is that it is born below another pure me, and they both continue to co-exist. The purpose of fundamental me is to open the doorway to absolute I am for pure conscious me, and ultimately for conscious me itself. Similarly to pure conscious me, fundamental me is also directed tied to the identity of pure attention. But unlike pure conscious me, it its bare attention cannot be distinguished from pure attention. Fundamental me is an identity that defines itself through pure surrender.
4. After the essential channel has been fully opened by the vertical surrender of fundamental me, pure conscious me can also surrender and enter the state of absence, thereby transforming into ‘absolute me’.
5. Having the foundation of absolute me finally allows conscious me to step deeper into surrender. In that surrender, conscious me merges with pure conscious me and through it enters absolute I am, thereby becoming primordial me.
As we can see, while certain terms have not been changed, their meaning is either slightly or significantly different. For instance, what is the ‘conscious observer’? One of our definitions in the past was ‘external attention experienced from embodied conscious me’. This still applies. However the meaning of this definition is slightly different because conscious me simply signifies the awakened subjectivity of the observer. There was obviously a link missing when we were forced to create the term ‘secondary center of conscious me’. Now the description is much more clear and simple. The conscious observer is the function or activity of conscious me through external attention; it is conscious me in action. Conscious me is the substance of the awakened essence-me and the conscious observer is that substance in activity.
And what about the transparent observer? This has been defined as the observer experienced from embodied conscious me, pure conscious me and pure consciousness (all in their old meanings). Now it is different. To experience the first level of transparent observer it is enough that conscious me is rooted in pure conscious me. If we then link conscious me to fundamental me as well, the realization of transparent observer becomes naturally deeper.
Then, the ‘pure observer’ comes into existence when conscious me reaches samadhi in the absolute I am through the bridge of both pure conscious me and fundamental me. When conscious me reaches absence it is called ‘primordial me’, and its activity is the pure observer.
Finally, what does the realization of the primordial I signify? Its definition remains more or less the same. But what is significant is that it occurs on the level of the identity of the observer. It is an internal samadhi of conscious me in its core of essence-me, where the source of pure attention, which is the original light of I am, is embodied.
So who is the observer – is it our soul or our human self? It is an important question to contemplate. Conscious me is the primal center of the soul. However, the observer, as the activity of conscious me, lives in two worlds: it serves the soul and it is the center of human self. The observer is wired into our psychological existence and the construct of the mind. This is why its awakening as conscious me is crucial for beginning to transform the construct of our subconscious mind and to align and purify our human intelligence.
Our evolution is magnificent in its beauty and artistry. The path begins with the observer and it ends with the observer. The observer is initially constantly disturbing our inner reality because of both its addiction to external attention and its inability to embody pure subjectivity. So we keep seeing the observer as a problem, as a part of us that we wish to transcend. But in the end, we are finally able to enter the seat of the observer and realize its divinity as conscious me, primordial me and primordial I: the original light, substance and spirit of our existence.
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