The clarity of consciousness is a function of its strength, and transparency, and the absence of subconscious energies. Sometimes the state can be strong and in the right place, but it is still not clear because the subconscious is obscuring it. As we embody the state correctly and add the element of surrender, all these subconscious elements gradually get dissolved and the state is left alone.
When we speak about embodying pure me, there is usually a tendency to try to do something and often this ‘doing’ has nothing to do with embodying pure me; either it is an artificial concentration or the observer is looking for something to identify with. The act of embodying is very gentle. It is almost as if you don’t do anything. You are just allowing yourself to be in your natural state and yet there is a shift from pure attention into pure me, which allows a deeper centralization in pure me to take place.
With eyes closed, this can sometimes be confusing because when your eyes are open, pure me is felt more at the back of the head due to the fact that there is horizontal surrender. In addition, there is as if a greater distance between conscious me and pure me. With eyes closed, because there is no horizontal polarity, this distance is no longer experienced, or at least not in the same way. With eyes closed, pure me is felt from the back of the head up to the place where the conscious me begins, which is the front of the head.
However, because we emphasize vertical surrender, pure me is more centralized in the middle, where the channel to the absolute is located. So pure me always orients itself in relation to I am: with open eyes, towards universal consciousness at the back, and with closed eyes, towards the source.
When the vertical and horizontal are integrated, pure me is absorbed vertically with open eyes as well. Then with open eyes, one experiences two absorptions – vertical and horizontal. With eyes closed, absorption is only vertical. That is the difference. This can be confusing because when one is getting used to horizontal surrender, one does not know how to behave with eyes closed, and vice versa.
One could ask the question: If consciousness is one, why are there all these differences? The consciousness which we experience is our individual consciousness, and its very existence is directly dependent on its relationship with the universal reality. In teachings where the soul is denied, where individuality is denied, all these distinctions would not make any sense because those teachings are not in touch with who the experiencer is, who is evolving and whose consciousness it actually is.
When practicing with consciousness, you should always try to be natural; it is better to do less than to do something wrong. When you are natural, often everything falls into the right place, as long as you are connected to your essence. The quality of clarity has to be checked on the level of pure me, which is your deeper consciousness, and on the level of conscious me.
Sometimes you may abide in your pure me but – if you pay attention – you experience discomfort in the front of your head. In particular, this can happen if one has accumulated a lot of mental energies, restlessness and energetic fluctuation in this area. This simply means that conscious me does not know how to abide in that place and does not have the force to somewhat overpower these subconscious energies through its presence.
When conscious me is gathering its presence, it is not just centralizing in itself; it is pulling all the energies of the mind into itself, because if these energies are disconnected from the conscious me, they cause the leakage of the energy of consciousness. Everything that you experience in your mind, in your head, is consciousness, but some of these elements are disconnected from its pure nature and as such are weakening your fundamental consciousness. That is why everything has to be integrated, so that we can reach true empowerment, true clarity and holistic consciousness.
When you attempt to gather your conscious me, you must make sure that you are simultaneously abiding, embodying and letting go from your pure me. This will keep the conscious me in balance and will prevent its unwanted crystallization. Pure attention also gathers the conscious me. So pure attention is simultaneously doing two things – it is gathering itself in conscious me and it is embodying pure me.
It is quite strange how little conscious me has been understood. In fact, it has not been understood at all; it has not even been identified. Conscious me is the true essence of the human consciousness. If we can imagine a human being who is evolving in the human dimension alone, in disconnection from the deeper reality, conscious me would be the very crowning of its development.
On the level of consciousness more generally, there are obviously other elements. Having access to I am, even having access to pure me – meaning pure me is on some level awakened – does not make one conscious; one can still be very unconscious and fragmented.